I am a planner – a complimentary way of referring to myself as a control freak. And I will own it because it is a good quality to have in certain situations.
Financial planning using data and analysis – yes.
Life – no.
2018 was The Year of Perpetual Rug Pulling Out From Under Us. One thing after another in the form of trauma, loss, depression, anxiety, grief, betrayal, injustice, and finally acceptance.
Oh, acceptance – as in I don’t even have an Ikea bathmat left to stand on – that’s a big one for a control freak. But that is where I arrived after a heart to heart with Steve one late night after Christmas.
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Note: If you are fortunate enough to find a partner in life who tells you every evening before they make you a drink that you are their “favorite sound in the world”, you have something pretty awesome.
But if you are fortunate enough to find a partner in life who will tell you the hard things that you need to hear and still tell you that you are their favorite sound, you have something rare.
Steve is both awesome and rare.
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I woke up the next morning with a new sense of peace. I went about my business, threw a New Year’s Eve party for Chaney and her theater friends – it was very dramatic and fun – kissed Steve at midnight, and fell into bed at 2 AM when the boys went home.
The next few weeks were a whirlwind. Steve is incredibly talented and because of his hard work and reputation, the job opportunity of a lifetime appeared almost out of nowhere. Practically overnight everything changed.
I knew and even wrote last year that it was time for a change in the direction of my own career and life. Steve and I talked about it but had no idea how we were going to make it happen.
Then it happened last week and my first writing assignment was to help Steve compose his resignation letter. He didn’t need help because we were on the exact same page full of mixed emotions, gratefulness, and excitement about the future.
Yesterday I closed the book on a 20-year career in finance. I will miss my clients and will cherish the stories, lessons, and life experiences they shared with me. I have held hands with widows, shared with adult children how much I enjoyed working with their parents, and I will miss the clients who dropped in for nothing more than coffee, conversation, and a hug.
So what’s my plan now?
We joke that it’s whatever I want and here’s what I want – more time with family, time to read and write, time to continue my Book Oblivion courses, and most importantly the time to support Steve and Chaney in their dreams and next chapters.
In the fall my plan is to begin a low-residency MFA program in creative writing.
But in the meantime, outside of the above, you can find me here compulsively cleaning the house, finding my fitness groove again, managing a home remodel, and making peace with two beagles who love me but don’t love to mind me.
Here’s to turning the page.